Category: Family Court

Parental Alienators are Sadistic

Sadism is behind parental alienation. Alienators enjoy bringing harm and pain to the target parent. What better way to bring pain, suffering and harm to a target parent than to take away her child who she is devoted to? And to even get societal and court approval to continue and advance their abuse? Jackpot.

The alienator’s primary motive is to cause harm to the target parent. Sadism is a root of parental alienation. It includes a lack of empathy and consciousness. It is a deliberate ongoing, destructive long term pervasive pattern and planned approach by an abuser intent on harming.

Parental alienation is not the result of a protective parent struggling to protect her child from an abuser and accidentally stating true accounts of concerning pathological traits from the abuser, such as continuous lying or accounts of true abuse.

Failed attempts at legitimate, necessary protection is not parental alienation, but a loving, caring parent struggling to protect her child. Such unfortunate, traumatic struggles are often the result when her family court has failed her and her child by not protecting them. Family court has likely failed again in looking out for the best interests of the children, as its mission hypocritically states.

Alienators know they are harming the target parent and possibly the child, but they don’t care about their child. Without empathy and consciousness, they don’t care about anyone but themselves and their twisted, controlling objectives.

The kids become collateral damage to the alienator in his focused intent to harm his target. He is indifferent at best to the irrelevant kids he is using to abuse by proxy. The kids are tools to be used as pawns for his destructive objective.

Parental alienation is the ultimate abuse to keep abusing and controlling the target. It makes alienators feel powerful and significant to bring harm and pain to someone who got away from them.

Alienators know the target parent loves and is devoted to their child(ren). What better way to punish her for leaving than to take her child away? Furthermore, she is shamed by society and receives no support. This is just icing on the cake of harm for the sadistic alienator.

Until court understands and cares about pathology (including a combination of Cluster B disorders NPD, BPD, ASPD – “sociopathy”), abuse and trauma, a struggling protective parent is unfortunately the only way to be when stuck with an alienator taking our child from us.

My kids are 100% themselves

I’m not 50% of each of my pathological parents. That would make me 100% pathological, which I think I miraculously managed not to be.

I’m just me, with various fractions from various places that are impossible and degrading to quantify with math.

Accordingly, my kids are not 50% me and 50% their father. It’s arrogant and demeaning to think they are 1/2 either parent like property. This concept is used a lot in the world of parental alienation and it needs to die.

Acknowledging a pathological, alienating parent for their abuse and legitimately concerning pathology does not mean we are insulting 50% of our kid. This has become a twisted concept in the legal system and another way to abuse and silence the healthy, loving, devoted targeted parent.

If anyone had clued me in about my parents’ pathology, I may have been spared considerable abuse and trauma that I am now trying to deal with.

The 50% concept is also incorrectly used in the legal system for parenting time. It assumes kids benefit from 50% time with both parents, regardless of their capability as parents. Family courts state their mission as caring for the best interests of children. However, many of their rulings show otherwise.

In an ideal world, kids would only be with healthy, loving parents.

As Khalil Gibran eloquently describes, our kids are 100% themselves and deserve our utmost care. Having them and raising them with an aspiration to reach their full potential is a privilege, blessing and honor.

On Children
 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.