Self-care within the world of alienation is unnatural. Nothing about alienation is natural.
Within this unnatural world, to thrive, alienated parents may need to make tough choices for self-care. We can not repeatedly do that which tortures us and become unavailable to the rest of our lives.
We must begin with radical acceptance of the current situation. This does not mean we give up on our kids or ourselves. Rather, it is about not being in denial of the current situation so that we can determine next steps.
We can bravely be aware of our harsh reality, so we may choose better self-care. We can possibly then reach out to our alienated children with our healthiest selves. We are more able to respond to the situation thoughtfully with self-compassion versus reactively with anger or desperation, which can backfire.
Self-care may include blocking alienators online, not looking at hurtful posts, such as from step mothers trying to steal our places. The harsh reality is the alienators want us to see their alienating efforts to further their abuse and hurt us. Why facilitate this and help them hurt us?
Beyond blocking out and distancing ourselves from toxicity, we can try to be mindful of our bodies and minds to adequately care for them. Stay attuned to your state of mind, feelings and your needs at various levels. By being mindful of your needs, you can address and prioritize your needs better.
Your needs may include better sleep and diet. What habits can you begin now to support your needs? Taking small steps, such as better choices with diet and a sleep routine, can go a long way towards helping your mood and wanting to adapt other self-care habits.
You deserve to become your best self going into the new year.